I am a 52 year old woman living in the suburbs of Atlanta, GA. I’m married and have three wonderful stepchildren and 3 adorable grandchildren. My husband is my best friend and has walked every step of this journey with me. I don’t think anyone fully appreciates the toll a terminal illness can take on the healthy partner. My biggest hope is that every prayer uttered for my healing includes a prayer for Stan’s strength, courage, peace of mind and comfort.
I’m a Georgia native (third generation hailing from Savannah) on my mother’s side and my father was a native Floridian (Jacksonville). You can’t get much more southern than that. It may sound like all my relatives walked off of Wormsloe Plantation to sharecrop and homestead; but I do have a twist of the exotic in my blood. My maternal grandfather came to America from Volos, Greece and became a US Citizen in the early 1900’s. I may look like Paula Dean’s skinnier/sallow sister, but beneath the surface, Mediterranean blood swirls through my veins. Opa!
Of course, I’m not from Savannah “old money” and my grandfather wasn’t a Greek Shipping Tycoon, so poverty abounded on both sides of my family. I come from humble beginnings – and I’m pretty much still there.
Growing up on dirt roads, I spent a LOT of time outdoors, playing from sun up to sun down with the children in the neighborhood. As a child, I loved my family, pets, roller skating. riding my bike, Halloween, Christmas and summer vacations. Fast forward 45 years later and it’s still the same. Although I’ve given up roller skating and bike riding due to my translucent, shattery bones (Osteoporosis & Low Platelet counts don’t lend themselves to high impact leisure activities — Thanks Liver Disease!)
I’m a simple person, it doesn’t take much to make me happy. It’s easy to miss that if you look at the surface, which is laden with neurosis, idiosyncrasies and a bizarre need for order. But at my core all I want is love, friendship, good food and good times.
Looking back on my childhood I see the laughter, the good and joyful times, the milestones and triumphs. However, my childhood was far from perfect and was full of struggles for everyone. Real struggles (from within and externally). Those dual forces took their toll on me and I walked in some very dark places for the better part of 2 decades. I’ve made some staggering mistakes and taken risks that nobody in their right mind would do.
So it’s been a bitter pill to swallow to finally “get my act together” emotionally and spiritually, only to have my body fail physically. By the grace of God, I managed to crawl out of the sewer my life had become and walk straight into Paradise. I landed in a life I only dreamed of, but of course, by then, I knew I was dying. I don’t sit around daily and bemoan “Why Me?” If anything, my gratitude deepens each day that passes because I should have died a LONG TIME AGO due to my sin, stupidity and bad choices. The fact I made it this far is nothing short of a miracle.
I will close with the facts – I’m on a transplant list awaiting a liver from a deceased donor. I have a life-changing opportunity to participate in a living donor program, but this hinges on my insurance company approving the cost of both surgeries. And everyone knows how much insurance companies love paying out astronomical claims! How I wish Oprah Winfrey was my claims agent. I can see her shouting gleefully “You get a liver! And you get a liver! and you get a liver!” as she rains down benefits on a bereft crowd of yellow people smiling wanly. #MakeitrainOprah!
As always, thanks for walking this journey with me,
All Hail the Queen – Brenda
