I read a wonderful article on CNN written by a young woman who works as a chaplain in a hospice setting. It caught my eye because I wondered, when I read it, what things would I be thinking of and talking about as a I got closer to the end of this disease process. I’ve included a link to this article below:
What People Talk About Before They Die
Every day I think or worry about at least one of these things: what will happen to my husband and family after I’m gone? Are my grandchildren old enough to remember me when they’re grown? How do I make meaningful memories with my family? Should I buy this new pair of pants, cell phone, earrings or should I wait until after I have a transplant? Will my successor at work have all they need to be successful in this job? Did I send all my insurance/banking/investment account information to my husband? Where will I be buried and why don’t I have a plot yet? Fun fact: there is a lovely cemetery in Peachtree City that’s right next to Steinmart. I really feel like that’s where I should repose in the afterlife.
And I worry about crazy things – will the next woman who occupies this house appreciate the time and effort I put into decorating it? As if our home will become a shrine to my interior decorating skills and enjoy museum quality preservation. I can see it now, red velvet ropes cordoning off certain areas of the house as the docent conducts a walking tour. Or worse yet, will this new woman think I was a lazy slob because the house isn’t as clean as it used to be?
The more practical things I think about each day go like this: how yellow will this blouse make me look? How big is my stomach today and will this skirt and/or pants fit? How sick will I feel if I eat this? How many activities can I do today? Gone are the days of getting up early, driving to Stone Mountain, hiking 6 miles, eating lunch, coming home and taking a shower, then going to dinner and a movie that evening. Sure, I could do all those things in one day if I had to, but I’d be so tired by the end of the evening I’d be in tears.
But hey, it’s not like I’m the only one burning daylight each day. We all are. None of us will ever get time back that has passed (unless someone invents time travel – queue the DeLorean). Since we don’t get “do-overs” for the time we waste, I suggest making every day count. Find something, anything, you can do for others that brings love, comfort, joy, encouragement, happiness or laughter. These are the things I imagine we’ll look back on when our number is finally called. The proverbial “life flashing before our eyes” phenomenon.
All Hail the Queen!
